Santa’s Younger Brother

I’ll tell you of a man who was the brother of old Santa Claus
He grew up in the shadow of his famous older bro
Although he felt like peasantry he could be rather pleasant he
Could give the girls a sleigh ride unlike any they had known

One day this Alexander Claus in jealousy and anger paused
He said why should Santa get all the girls and fame
And sometimes lost in vacant thought he dreamed he’d be an astronaut
He’d fly around the heavens and eclipse his brothers name

One day picking up the naughty list he made his brother rather pissed
By sending each a letter and signing Santas name
The boys he told were getting cars the girls becoming movie stars
He sent the letters postage due and went upon his way

Alexander had a hellish bent, he drank stronger booze than two percent
In college he was often called a loser and a lush
But when they called him grammar clown twas then he put the hammer down
And learned to write erotica that would make a porn star blush

He entered fiction tournaments his gift he felt was heaven sent
and soon his books were selling in China and Rangoon
Although his route was roundabout with fortune smiling now da lout
Told Santa he could take his job and send it to the moon.

His book tours took him very far to Paris and far Zanzibar
He burned his candle at both ends and in the middle too
His gift he thought would barrel age but his soul in deepest peril raged
Until writing was the one thing he could no longer do.

Alexander wanted sanity so one day he said damn it, he
Would take all his worldly goods and sell them on eBay
He gave it all to charity and felt he had now parity
In karma with his brother and his writing became play.

So pausing not for nourishment and feeling vast encouragement
He ventured into poetry even some hip hop
And now when Christmas rolls around
He helps his brother bowl around
and holds the sleigh while Santa onto every rooftop drops.

The two are now the best of friends and this where our story ends
But not before I tell you of a secret Alexander knew
In these deeply troubled times it’s sometimes in the doubled rhymes
That Christmas joy can be found so here’s his gift to you

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