George “Shining Path” Romney

George Romney is a man on a mission from God. Descended from a long line of church leaders, he has worked for years to fulfill his Mormon destiny by becoming President of the USA. A former Mormon stake leader — the equivalent of a cardinal in the Roman catholic church — Romney is the wildly successful religious insurgent who is carrying out the expressed purpose of the church’s founders, namely to literally take political control of the country. The presidency for him is as much a theological post as it is a political one. While the wing nuts worry about Islamic extremists and sharia law infiltrating government, the beast with the fixed gaze of the righteous, taught in the church from birth that lying is OK if it protects the church’s interests, slouches towards the temple. Abraham Lincoln said if the USA were to disintegrate, the threat would not be external, but come from within. Lucky for us the beast has plastic hair, a spinning moral compass and acts like an action figure from Toy Story 3.

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