Monthly Archives: November 2009

Today’s Proverb

Man will stand a long time with mouth open, waiting for roast duck to fly in.

–Chinese proverb

Today’s Fifty Word Mini-Saga

The black ship sailed expertly behind with no crew, no captain. When we tacked, it tacked. When we jibed, it blocked our wind. Finally, we scuttled and sank our ship rather than be taken by God knows what. We lowered the life boats, pulled hard for the fog and prayed.

Donny Osmond Reveals Face Transplant From Own Backside

Hollywood, CA – “I didn’t want to tell anyone until the Dancing With the Stars season was over, but the speculation has just gotten to be a huge distraction,” said Mr. Osmond. “My face was burned horribly in fire five years ago. I spent nine months in seclusion and the only therapy available was a massive skin graft from my butt. It wasn’t a full face transplant, just the smile and both cheeks. I can’t tell the difference now,” said Osmond.

Today’s Latin Phrase

Si EGO told vos vos had a decorus somes would vos habitum is obviam mihi?
(If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?)

Today’s Proverb

The dog’s kennel is not the place to keep a sausage.

–Danish proverb

Majority Of Republicans Believe In Tinkerbell

Washington, DC – A new Zogby poll published today indicates that 55.4% of Republicans believe in Tinkerbell.  “We are the party of magical thinking and Tinkerbell is part of that,” said Republican national chairman Michael Steele. Twenty eight percent indicated they did not believe in Tinkerbell and 16.6% said they were undecided.

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Today’s Proverb

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

–African proverb