Monthly Archives: February 2009

Victoria’s Secret To Introduce Bras For Men

East Reynoldsburg, PA – Victoria’s Secret announced today they will introduce a line men’s bras or mansierres this summer. “Let’s face it. Men are beginning to have cleavage. So why not use it to your advantage? Many so-called primitive societies call attention to men’s natural endowment with special clothing. We want to offer today’s men a similar way to control movement and show off their assets,” said product manager Christiana Johnson. The new line will be called Bad Boy Buckets and will be available in denim and leather. “We also have plans for a full line of manty hose,”  said Johnson.
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Today’s Anagrams: Stephen Colbert

Anagrams for “Stephen Colbert”:

Belches pent rot

Be chortle spent

Nobler techs pet

Today’s Epigram by Zbigniew Brzezinski

“The Afghans don’t want foreigners running around their country with guns telling them how to suck eggs.”

-Zbigniew Brzezinski

Today’s Anagrams for “Bill O’Reilly”

Anagrams for “Bill O’Reilly”:

Bill Yo’re Ill

Bore Ill Lily
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Today’s Epigram by Churchill

“The hottest part of hell is reserved for those who, at a time of grave moral crisis, steadfastly maintain their neutrality.”

–Winston Churchill

Corporate Diversity Training Made Simple

You may have seen emails sent by the HR department at work extolling the importance of diversity. You may have even been invited to mandatory “diversity training”. Now that we have a bi-racial president and women represent approximately sixty percent of the graduating class at many universities, many middle-age men may be feeling at sea when it comes to navigating the waters of the new, politically-correct workplace. If this describes you, here are a few tips to making the last decade or two of your work life go a little easier.

First, try to make an effort to engage the younger women in your workplace. They grew up in a much more egalitarian environment where women were free to talk to men as peers. Make them feel at ease by treating them as you would your own peers. You might start a conversation by asking about their weekend:  “Hey, did you get any last night?” Or you might inquire about how her car is running, or comment on your own: “the fuckin’ useless made-in-DEE-TROIT piece of shit is givin’ me hemorrhoids,” will open the conversation on common ground.

The new workplace is all about equality and being non-threatening. Young men today are sensitive and take things personally. No one ever took them out duck hunting in a freezing snowstorm and and made it clear to them that their shit stinks like everyone elses. In fact, some of them believe it smells like air freshener. Instead of calling a twenty-something male a “dick wad” or a “turd blossom” as you would men your own age  ( sensitive types actually take offense at this) you might say you “look like something the cat drug in” or “is that your hair or your toilet brush?” That makes it more objective and less personal. If these things don’t lighten things up a bit, suggest they watch the movie Gran Turino.

Next week we will discuss how to connect with a boss who is younger than you. Hint: learn to krump without slipping a disk.
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Today’s Anagrams: Rachel Maddow

Anagrams for “Rachel Maddow”:

Clad mad her, ow!

Ache, mad world!